i’m super tired.  i loaded 3 bushes into bisque kilns today.  bisque fires with 2 long ass 24 hour holds.  i have this schedule i’m working with and i’m being superstitious with it now.  like it worked the first time so i’m sticking to it.  i need to do more inquiring and refine it to make it my own.

i did the math yesterday and i made all five bushes in 22 days.  while working THAT fast isn’t really my ideal, it feels good to have had a goal and worked my tail off to make it happen.  barring any complications, i think my installation at 10 x 10 will be a success.

for me not getting intimidated is a big problem.  i’m easily discouraged.  i’m trying to take my work horse kind of nature and turn it in a more positive direction.  i think i am always kind of searching for somewhere to stop.  somewhere to settle in and do something for the rest of eternity.  finish, rewind, repeat.  of course then i get massively bored and try something else, always lurching off in some kind of awesome direction, but not really being able to pull it together at the end of the day.  i don’t know where i picked up that habit, but i’m working on getting rid of it.  a is really good at moving forward (maybe too good at times, girl).  i’m always amazed at her ability to intuitively know how to move toward her next better goal and really do amazing shit.  she is on her way to being an art star, mark my words.

right now feels really right.  for the last few years, in the back of my mind, i have been thinking “i wish i was doing this…” and now i am doing it.  i am trying to keep options on the horizon so that what i do today makes a bridge to what i want to do next year, or in five years.  i suspect this is the way to live life.

anyway, my studio mates have been enormously generous this week, helping with heavy lifting, kiln firing, spray gun lending, and ass loads of other shit (like the pillow case-tea towel-raw glaze-lashing strap maneuver into kiln no. 8).  i don’t know this studio very well yet, my shit is majorly heavy and as previously discussed i get discouraged easily, so i could not have done it with out them.  seriously.