just a note on what it is i’m trying to do here.  just saw some nice comments from someone who’s blogging i really respect and which has continually inspired me for the last couple of years.  when i was abroad i checked regularly mindfully mothering blog.  if you know me, you know that i’m not motherly inclined (at least not in the last 29 years.) but mindfully mothering, in addition to updating me on my great friend and her partner and 2 of the most awesome kids i’ve ever met (and i’m really not a kid person, meaning that i’m not good at pretending, or particularly fun, and kids just generally aren’t into me, but around max and bella i always feel like an awesome adult) has something special about it.  that’s michelle’s awesome writing style, and her ability to always be authentic. it might be hard to see the connection but mm gave me permission to live in tokyo and not LOVE every moment of it, which was really helpful, since i wasn’t.

now i’m back, and feeling like i am taking some significant steps towards my goals, living my life in a way that feels really productive and right and i’d like to record a bit of that, for myself as well as my friends and other artists.  because becoming an awesome artist is amazing but it also sucks my ass sometimes.

as i write this i am thinking about the shower i’m about to get in to wash off all the grime from a day spent hauling and stacking 10 cords (a whole freaking lot) of wood with 7 other awesome folks who are on a similiar path to mine.

i’m going to rest for awhile then head back to the studio because i’m really into it right now.  there’s a 50 pound sculpture there that needs my attention because it’s going to dry out and crack up if it doesn’t get it, or parts that i’ve wetted down will turn to mush if they sit too long.  it’s like a living thing and shit is coming out of my mind, my compost heap of images, experiences and knowledge to grow it.

it sounds woo woo, but i’m often, these days, experiencing “good job nicole” moments which is a little woo woo for me too.